PMS post on the In-laws

I should be censored. I should not even post when I am PMS-ing… A mental and physical muzzle for all conversations during this delicate psychotic period should be administered. But there is no warden for my words and thoughts spilling out in black and white.

Here I go typing away about my bad behavior last night.

In any marriage “the in-laws are a touchy thing. Different parenting customs and family dynamics make for um”… shall we say interesting discussion.

Cross-cultural marriages multiply the dynamics. Customs are far more “exotic” and sometimes scary. Including giving raw eggs to infant. Yep! seen that with my own eyes.

When you add hormonal imbalance and anger…with a Capital “A” it becomes out of control.

Lets make it a little bit more interesting by throwing in a little home remodeling and a bonafide, certified, gets shots once a month at a looney bin,  schizophrenic Aunt!! Yep! all that!

Honestly, when I put it all in perspective, I was quite polite.

Let me set the stage a little more. It was a cold rainy day. We, my husband and I went to the village to work on Baba and Deda’s house. Munchkin in the care of the in-laws at house not far away.

When we arrive at the house being renovated, I am left with a bare minimum of work. Work I try to accomplish is stopped and I realized in this cold, damp house there is nothing for me to do but watch. I am not a voyeur! Soon, I head back to the house.

At the front entrance, I see the Sister-in- Law’s shoes in the shoe pile at the front door.  (Because, Serbia is much more like Asia than Western Europe thanks to the Turks.) No one told me she was coming. I hate that. And Munchkin’s Aunt is one of my least fav people in the world. The kind that thinks everyone should buy her whatever she wants,,, and I mean like Uggs, Burberry, etc. While she goes to college in a city for Over 10 years!! No job and doesn’t help with the family farm. AT ALL! But she will take everything she can from the family. I am not exaggerating!

She is thirty, and her parents are still paring for her to live away. That is mostly, because she is horrible and they don’t want her near. Sadly, that is not PMS mean-ness. it is the reality. They have called the cops on her for harassment. Last time she came for Christmas, Papa tried to move home to his parents. They wouldn’t have him. And there are two free bedrooms.

When the Aunt appears and I become a fire breathing dragon. and it happened. I kept the flames in. Smoke curled from my nostrils… but, a dragon can’t help that. She was cuddling with my sleeping munchkin. And, her arrival had put the munchkins nap off two hours. GRRR!

I sit on the chair by the fire warming up, Baba goes to take a nap. Begins snoring quickly. I don’t blame her. She does the lions share of the work, and is no doubt exhausted!

Papa, fat and lazy, has his chair pulled to the center of the room watching T.V., volume all the way up like a king. Munchkin plays with the crazy aunt. I am thankful for my book.

It is not long before King Grandpa begins to incite munchkin to wake Baba…. I stop her. He does it again louder. and I stop her. Then he is doing it himself. He succeeds. I say quietly, but loud enough, “Glupino”… it means stupid, and I am sure he heard. Soon after, I am sure he was steaming that someone dared call the king stupid in his own home. He left his throne to go out into the cold for quite sometime.

His crazy daughter says nothing. She could care less if the women who makes her life of unrealistic luxury sleeps. In fact, I have seen her hit her mother repeatedly when she was sleeping so she could talk to her. Yep, She is that sweet to her mother. This is the kind of stuff that makes me smolder!

You see, I do love my Mother-in-law, and I would love to protect her. But she can’t stand up for  herself. And she works like a team of oxen for her family. and they don’t appreciate it. Actually, they abuse her. It kills me!  And like a truly delusional person, she makes excuses for their bad behavior!  When I talked to Mama about Papa waking her, she said he was just playing. When I related the story later to the hubby, he said the same thing. When I asked him how he would like that… the excuse became clearly an excuse for bad behavior.

Three hours after I arrived at Baba and Deda’s, the husband returned. he ate, and asked if I was ready to go. I was!

Then, Munchkin, didn’t want to come home! She wanted to stay with the insane aunt, emotionally blind Baba, and the constantly abusive Father-in-Law. Of course. I can’t imagine why the sweet little tot wouldn’t want to come home with a fire breathing dragon… lol. And. to be fair, she was being spoiled like a pig being fattened like no other!! who wouldn’t stay in a place you get coddled, tons of presents and can do ANYTHING you want and never hear the word “no”.  Seriously. I would chose the crazies too!

Munchkin insisted on staying, Hubby and the family backed her and I was beaten… I hugged the munchkin and said goodbye to the crazy aunt with eyes that really said. I HATE YOU! If looks could kill, she would have been flat-lined instantly.

The entire drive home and all night long, I wanted to go back for her. Still, she stayed… This morning I am still frustrated that she is in that environment.  And she will stay til tomorrow.  WTFrench toast!

Also, ee will probably have to return Friday and Sunday.. It is Orthodox Easter.  FUN!

Friday we are supposed to decorate eggs… Not like you do in the States. Dipping them for a second. and adding colors like paint. No,, this means boiling them for hours. The dye is poor and the eggs are dark. So, that really means spending needless time in the village that can’t be spent on home renovation. UGH!  And eating not Fast food, but food of fasting. YUK to both!

No one knows that the fasting talked about in the Bible wasn’t beans, it was the yummy vegetation of the Mediterranean! (The hate comments for talking bad about the “Blessed” magic fasting beans that produce gas and painful constipation rather than a bean stalk to the sky are coming… I can tell.) In fact, here they don’t know much, more than that the calendar says it is Easter. That does make me a bit more mad.  Tradition, rather than knowledge. The tip of the iceberg.

I realize the irony. The angry, hateful person who is supposed to be a sweet loving Christian. I know, I am no perfect. Never will be. Right now I am over all of this! Going out for a walk to improve my mood.

End rant.

Advertisements

Easy! Munckin Monday

“Easy”, says the munchkin, waking from a dead sleep.Daddy was struggling kindly to wake up and use the nasha (potty). Of course the Hubby and I burst out laughing at her word choice at 2AM! Out of no where she comes up with the most adult yet comical things to say.

Today, while watching an Xgame worthy wheel chair bound stunt guy speed down a ramp and then flip, she shocked me! She blurts out, “Mommy, That’s awesome!” We proceed to watch it over and over as Munchkin also loves to dance to the music in the video.

In case you are interested here is that same video. https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=10152559293686083&set=vb.215052536082&type=2&theater

Her verbal expressions aren’t limited to English. This summer as Baba was going on and on and on…..To infinite, Munch had clearly gotten sick of listening and let Baba know. She said in Serbian, “Dosta!” That means, enough. She is one smart cookie!

She is already teaching me new words. I am so proud of her!

She demonstrates language discernment as well. She will be speaking to Daddy in Serbian, turn to me and speak in English. I just don’t have enough words to describe how happy that makes me.

I can’t believe only three months have passed by, she has grown years worth of Monday writings. Language is the biggest growth spurt she has had, although the mark on the wall had jumped up more than an inch.

She is still taking afternoon naps and cuddles like its her job. I love that the most.

Her coordination and dancing has improved. She jumps and spins like a top. One of the cafes pipes music onto the walkway. She dances and puts on a show every time we walk past.

Potty training was completed at the beginning of the summer. Now, Daddy has her trained to go and fetch her nasha when she needs to use it. He is no dummy. 😉

This is my favorite stage so far! What an amazing little ball of energy! My little Dancing Queen!

Photography Friday~ Sheep

A typical day in most Serbian villages is something you may see as fairy tale book illustration. I know I have made these references before and I am positive I will again.

These pics are from my visit earlier this summer to Zubetinac. I love that village sooo much! Too bad the roads are an utter disaster and the muz is against driving their in fear of ruining “his” car. 😦

Baba Mary and her lambs

Baba Mary and her lambs * (Notice the chinese “crocs” she is wearing. Lots of farmers are forsaking their traditional plastic foot ware for these nowadays.

Baba Mary and her grown up lambs a.k.a. sheep passed the village house every day 2x. Their passing was announced by the clanging bell on one or more of the sheep.

SONY DSC

Ring your baeeeh eehh elll Ring your bell!

They pass pretty quickly, I had to run to get the camera to get these shots. I just loved watching them follow the shepherdess. She was one of the sweetest ladies we met in the village.

SONY DSCMary and her flock were on their way quickly. The sheep are always grabbing a bite from their favorite fast food “drive thru”!  A spot of grazing here and there and then off like a shot to catch up with the rest of the crew.

This is why I love Serbia. The antiquities and the bit of surreal-ness that is for real every day!

* The song lyrics that inspired the renaming of the Baba are below thanks to Wikipedia.

Song[edit source | editbeta]

In the 1830s, Lowell Mason set the nursery rhyme to a melody adding repetition in the verses:

Mary had a little lamb,
whose fleece was white as snow.

And everywhere that Mary went,
the lamb was sure to go.

It followed her to school one day
which was against the rule.

It made the children laugh and play,
to see a lamb at school.

And so the teacher turned it out,
but still it lingered near,

And waited patiently about,
till Mary did appear.

“Why does the lamb love Mary so?”
the eager children cry.

“Why, Mary loves the lamb, you know.”
the teacher did reply.

Site credit

Dobar Dan 🙂

Things Grandmas say in Serbia~ Foreigner Funnies!

This is a reblog of a post from quite a long time ago on my Blogspot site. It still makes me laugh to think about all the Grandma’s or Baba’s talking about their grandkids in such a way. Here is the link to the old blog. I hope it makes you laugh.

This is Baba and her “little ducky”.

Babino patcheh or Grandma’s little penis

I have been going to my husbands village for 2 years now. Every time we go, Baba and Deda  greet us at the door. Deda shakes our hands. Baba pulls us in for hugs and lots of kisses that are closer to the neck than the face, so I always get a strange vampirish vibe from them, even though she barely has teeth. While she is kissing us, she is always muttering sweet nothings of love to us like we are children. It is very sweet and I feel loved.
This time, while I was there, a cousin translated one of the things she says to my husband…. Babino  malo Patcheh. Please forgive the spelling. I knew when she was saying Babino she was calling us her’s. It’s like saying Grandma’s baby or something. What I didn’t get was the second part. Patcheh is the word for baby duck and this is slang for penis. All along she has been calling my husband, “grandma’s little penis”. And, as odd as it sounds, it is a sweet thing to say. I did laugh my dupe off when I heard this!! (Dupe means butt.)
Bringing this up to date…. Fast forward 2 1/2 years.
And now that I have my own little girl, and my husband’s Mom has her own little lovey sayings for her. Babina mala riba… that is Grandma’s little fish. Even though it is completely rude to call women’s parts fish in my part of the world, it is proper and even common to hear little girls and women called fish.  Live and learn, live   and    learn!

Link to the original post:

http://lafemmet.blogspot.com/2011/03/babino-patcheh-or-grandmas-little-penis.html

Dear Blog Diary, Yesterday….365-31

Yesterday I went to the hospital to visit two family members.

lonely hospital halls

lonely hospital halls

Mama is still in the hospital after having surgery for the second time in 2 years to repair hernias that she got post babies some 30+ years ago. This time, the nurses are great. Her room is clean and she has a nice room mate. The window are new, so the room is warm. She even says the food is good. I will take her word for it. This is a a 180 from last time. I am seriously relieved. And, I hope when she gets out, there will be no more problems with her lower stomach.

Deda Mumshilo had another heart attack. The first one was some 10 or so years ago. He is recovering in the same hospital one floor down. The conditions are more crowded and not quite as nice. But decent for “free” care.

An empty, clean hospital room

An empty, clean hospital room

He complained about the food, and said he wants a burger. I called him a baby, told him he needs to eat his soup and rest. All in all he is doing well, if he can complain about this and that he is just fine. If he stops complaining, I would worry.

In Deda’s room there were two other older gents with beds next to his. Across the way, there were two other men and a very OLD Baba fully dressed in black “baba attire”. Including the required kerchief tied around her head.

She was dressed like this, but sick in a hospital bed. Seriously, it is like there is a Baba uniform.

Deda’s room was too warm, but older folks are always cold, I am sure it was to keep them comfortable.

I spent just a short time with Deda. He was too tired to really have company. But I spent more than an hour with Mama.

We had a really nice talk, I brought her an old photo album of mine to pass the time. Unlike in the US there are no televisions in the rooms to ease the boredom of laying hour after hour, day after day in the hospital to recuperate.

I also got to show Mama the cool little bag I found at the thrift shop. I am totally stoked about it! Check it out!!

I

I am gonna fix it up. Another cool project! off to work on it. I  will give the before and after when complete! 🙂

Dobar Dan!

(Good Day!)